Waking Up Marriage by Bill O'Herron

Author:Bill O'Herron [O'Herron, Bill]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: nonfiction, self-help, couples, marriage, relationships, psychology
Publisher: Atmosphere Press
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

Dance with it, Please

It seems counterintuitive to turn toward this fire and discomfort. But it is our thoughts about the friction, discontent and chaos, and the resultant ache and desire to avoid it that are killing the physical and non-physical spirit of our marriage.

Our marriage ends up looking and feeling like that hill in the experiment. The marriage and the hill are not the issue. It is our belief that since our prior actions to make changes or address issues in the marriage have not worked, then any new advances will also not work. So we stop trying. The weight of our perspectives makes that darn hill and marriage too steep.

Take what your spouse throws at you, though, as if it were a poem, scripture, a new language, or even music. All of these, especially a new language, must be heard and read over and over. Only then can the sensations, wisdom, coding, and classification of the information and message be found, used, understood, and then enjoyed. Absorb with your powerful, conscious, wounded heart. Do not defend with your unwilling brain.

Do the work, commit and invest time, sit quietly and do some therapy, and let your emotional patterns arise and be made conscious. When we avoid the friction of our marriage, we leave pieces of our life unlived, unremembered, and unexplored. “People will do anything, no matter how absurd, to avoid facing their own soul,” Carl Jung said. “Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”

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